While Arsenal’s “media watch” is the worst thing associated with the club (apart from maybe this), it was useful to find a definitive list of all of the players Arsenal have been linked with since the season has ended.
Javi Martinez- Won’t come cheap
Diego- Just joined Fenerbache
Damiao- Linked to everyone
Benzema- Singing new contract
Dele Alli - I know nothing
Milner- Not as RB
Mandzukic- Croatian Olivier Giroud
Obita- Reading’s best player
Aurier- Promising but inexperienced
Vela - Wise to avoid
Remy- Should’ve bought earlier
Fabregas- It still hurts
Khedira- Will stay put
Marshall- Better than back-up
Barry- A shit Arteta
Ruddy- England’s fourth choice
Pantilimon- Sunderland’s player now
Angel Di Maria- Him or Sanchez
Xavi- Not a chance
Balotelli- Why always Arsenal?
Morata- Could do better
Ruffier- Need a keeper
Insigne- F*cking loves Naples
Grenier - Every single window
Schneiderlin - Exploiting Southampton’s exodus
Nigel De Jong - No thank you
Cerci - Not for £20m
Micah Richards - Diaby gets lonely
Bravo - Already joined Barca
Zaguerio Bressan- Here’s some youtube
Reina- They won’t sell
Meyer- Younger than Draxler
Javier Hernandez- Quick Bruno Mars
Coleman- We have Debuchy
Debuchy- I miss Ludivine
Zaldua- Legend of ?
Tom Cleverley- Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, no seriously?!
Higuain- Is it 2013?
Ochoa- Mexican Ted Moseby
Çalhanoğlu- Not umlauty enough
Sanchez- Get it done
Ivanovic- Story from Metro
Isla- Sign all Chileans
Nani- See Tom Cleverley
Vidal- Too much money
Begovic- Not 2nd choice
Gonalons- Decided to stay
Florenzi- Arsenal needs wingers
Keylor Navas- Cheap release clause
Jackson Martinez- Huge Arsenal fan
Huntelaar- Emirates’ first goalscorer
Ashley Williams- Could’ve killed him
Veltman- Potential third CB
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