TRANSFER SPECULATION! The resort of bored journalists without a crisis narrative. Some is good, some is bad, but what you know it’ll do it get people talking (and complaining). Today’s batch consists of a pair of hard-to-believe stories, and one that’s quite sad.

Easily swayed

According to FranceFootball, Bayern are interested in signing Laurent Koscielny in the summer. According to an unnamed source the German champions were impressed by his performance against them in the Champions League second leg and have “made enquiries”.

Now, this story smells of 2+2=a million for a few reasons. Reason number one, Bayern have already secured the services of Jan Kirchoff, a centre-back, leaving their first-team-centre-back options at five, plenty for any team. Secondly, Koscielny is arguably Arsenal’s best defender and keeping hold of him should be a priority.

Thirdly, he turned down Barcelona last summer and signed a new five-year contract, and made some very reassuring noises about owing Arsenal his career and such. With that said, we’ve heard that so many times before, but Laurent doesn’t seem the sort to jump ship.

Don’t make me laugh

According to the Metro, Arsenal are interested in signing Real Madrid and Spain captain Iker Casillas. He’s been displaced by Diego Lopez this season, partially due to injury and partially due to a feud with Jose Mourinho, who’s only too happy to hurt his side to spite people.

If Mourinho remains at the Bernabeu, Casillas may have no option but to move if he wants to keep playing. This apparently is where Arsenal come in. It would be quite a coup, Casillas being one of the world’s best goalkeepers, but I really don’t think this will happen on any level.

Mourinho looks set to either move to PSG or return to Chelsea in the summer, and there is little chance with him gone Casillas will continue to be sidelined.

Furthermore, even if he is, and he does want to move to the Premier League, Mourinho has been known to refuse to do business with Arsenal (personal vendettas, again), in favour of selling players to Liverpool.

Bye bye, Ruski bear

It seems that Andrei Arshavin may be retiring from football at the conclusion of the season, when his contract at Arsenal expires. He’s been a peripheral figure at best for the last two seasons, and has rejected chances to move elsewhere, largely so he can retain his 95k-a-week salary.

It’s a real shame for a player who brought such excitement in his first year or so, only to then lose interest.

Complications in his private life haven’t helped, and reports from Russia suggest he’s far more interested in his businesses than football (as well as his new girlfriend). It’s a sad waste of talent, but it happens. Footballers are only human, after all.

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