Given the club has driven its entire fanbase to alcoholism, here is a list of which drinks the Arsenal players would be.
Arsene Wenger- Red Wine
French and sophisticated. At its prime, the best around, but the newer vintages pale in comparison. Been thrown out by the fans recently.
Szczęsny- Coors light
Nothing actively terrible about it, but has a long way to go before it could be considered a great .
There is a something very liquoricey about it.
Koscielny- Mulled Wine
Universally popular choice, hope to see much more of it around the Christmas period.
Slow moving, but gets the job done. Most enjoyable when mulled wine is nearby.
Nobody’s favourite. It is hard to pinpoint its flaws; it just lacks anything to make it the best. Available in most places, but only when the first choice isn’t around.
Chambers- Becks Vier
Has the potential, but still somewhat lightweight. Nothing to stop it turning into something great.
Debuchy- Newcastle Brown Ale
Good up north, hasn’t been seen enough in north London
Wilshere- Stella Artois
Popular in England and stronger than it looks, lacks the sophistication and subtlety of others.
Ramsey- Long Island Iced Tea
All of the ingredients to make it lethal, has to be mixed properly, otherwise you end up with something that doesn’t know what it is trying to be.
Flamini- Special Brew
Does a lot of damage, definitely not to be trusted on the big occasions.
Arteta- Gin and Tonic
Smooth and reliable, even if it’s not the most exciting.
Expensive and brilliant.
Oxlade Chamberlain- Prosecco
Less expensive and less brilliant. Very similar to Champagne, but lacks that little bit extra to make it sensational. Highly enjoyable nevertheless.
Serge Gnabry- Lambrini
Is to Prosecco what Prosecco is to Champagne.
Walcott- Jaeger Bomb
A burst of energy when you need it. Rarely overcomplicates things, sometimes too straightforward.
The subtleties are lost on many, when you pay that much money for something, you expect to see a bit more.
Popular with teenage girls, not up there with the best.
Not used very often, but packs a hell of a punch.
Welbeck- Apple Sourz
New and cool, but many wanted more.