While Arsenal’s “media watch” is the worst thing associated with the club (apart from maybe this), it was useful to find a definitive list of all of the players Arsenal have been linked with since the season has ended.

Javi Martinez- Won’t come cheap

Diego- Just joined Fenerbache

Damiao- Linked to everyone

Benzema- Singing new contract

Dele Alli - I know nothing

Milner- Not as RB

Mandzukic- Croatian Olivier Giroud

Obita- Reading’s best player

Aurier- Promising but inexperienced

Vela - Wise to avoid

Remy- Should’ve bought earlier

Fabregas- It still hurts

Khedira- Will stay put

Marshall- Better than back-up

Barry- A shit Arteta

Ruddy- England’s fourth choice

Pantilimon- Sunderland’s player now

Angel Di Maria- Him or Sanchez

Xavi- Not a chance

Balotelli- Why always Arsenal?

Morata- Could do better

Ruffier- Need a keeper

Insigne- F*cking loves Naples

Grenier - Every single window

Schneiderlin - Exploiting Southampton’s exodus

Nigel De Jong - No thank you

Cerci - Not for £20m

Micah Richards - Diaby gets lonely

Bravo - Already joined Barca

Zaguerio Bressan- Here’s some youtube

Reina- They won’t sell

Meyer- Younger than Draxler

Javier Hernandez- Quick Bruno Mars

Coleman- We have Debuchy

Debuchy- I miss Ludivine

Zaldua- Legend of ?

Tom Cleverley- Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, no seriously?!

Higuain- Is it 2013?

Ochoa- Mexican Ted Moseby

Çalhanoğlu- Not umlauty enough

Sanchez- Get it done

Ivanovic- Story from Metro

Isla- Sign all Chileans

Nani- See Tom Cleverley

Vidal- Too much money

Begovic- Not 2nd choice

Gonalons- Decided to stay

Florenzi- Arsenal needs wingers

Keylor Navas- Cheap release clause

Jackson Martinez- Huge Arsenal fan

Huntelaar- Emirates’ first goalscorer

Ashley Williams- Could’ve killed him

Veltman- Potential third CB

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