He’s here! He came to town, and then he left, and then he came back to town, and then he went to Germany, and now Arsenal have announced the signing of Santi Cazorla. We all knew it was happening once he visited the training ground on Thursday, but many sections of the Gooner fanbase were starting to panic, especially when his Malaga teammate Salomon Rondon (who in my head looks exactly like Salomon Kalou) had his transfer signed off before Cazorla’s, despite Santi’s being wrapped up earlier.

However, we needn’t have worried, and he’s here now. You could also have suspected something when Arsenal didn’t disclose who’d travelled to Germany for the pre-season training camp, which they normally would do. And naturally, it transpired that it was because Santi Clause (squeee!) was on the plane, and it would be a bit odd saying that someone who hadn’t officially joined yet was on the plane. Kind of like wearing a namebadge of the company you’re having a job interview with, at the interview.

Anyway, you’ve all heard lots about how lovely and shiny Cazorla is, so I won’t go over it again. What I will tell you is that I’m doing a little dance as I write this, with backflips and everything.

Bendy...

There was rather an amusing post on the LadyArse gossip site about something Nicklas Bedntner tweeted recently. He retweeted something about a disorder that makes you sexually attracted to mannequins, followed by his own tweet reading “I suffer from this.”

Now, while it is possible that our favourite Danish target-misser has a doll fetish (I really really hope not), it’s more likely he mistook the words, because the Danish word for “mannequin” can also mean “supermodel”, which sounds a lot more like our Bendy, the car-wrecking, pant-sponsoring, trouser-losing scallyway.

That or he was joking.

Not really news, I know.

Van Persie staying?

Talk is now that Van Persie is impressed with Arsenal’s signings and wants to stay. Good for him. In my opinion if his mind could be changed by signings he would’ve waited until we’d seemingly finished our shopping before opening his gob about our direction. Really, I think his desire to move is motivated by money, and I wish him goodbye. It’s not his job to dictate transfer policy, or tell Arsene what to do, EVER.

Midfielders

Talk of Nuri Sahin rumbles on, the move now apparently hinging on Spurs selling Luka Modric to Real Madrid. Spurs losing a player so we can gain one? This summer is probably going to turn out to be one collective drug-fuelled fantasy, you know. We’ll wake up to find Walcott, Van Persie, Sagna and Song have all left, and we’ve signed Kevin Doyle, Chris Samba (so good he went to Russia) and Steven N’Zonzi.

As well as that, we might be interested in Etienne Capoue, who wants to play Champions League football. I’ve watched him a bit, and he’s a very good defensive midfielder, possibly better than Yann M’Vila, and cheaper. Whether Wenger wants another defensive midfielder is another matter, but that might be one to watch, he’s been linked before.

Strikers?

According to the Mirror and the Daily Mail, because of the ongoing Van Persie saga, Arsenal are interested in Olympiacos’s Kevin Mirallas. While he’s been prolific in Greece, that really means very little. He doesn’t look that great. And better still,  the link is very tenuous, and probably untrue.

That’s all for today. Maybe next week we’ll have signed someone else. Oooooohh...

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